Shifting Gears Read online

  She was an incredible woman.

  He’d never really contemplated anything long-term before. Life had simply been too demanding to consider it. But less than an hour away from Annabelle and he already wanted to see her again. He found himself wishing that she lived closer. In his house with him, even.

  But he brushed that off. It was too soon to be thinking things like that. He was probably just being too protective, and he didn’t want to smother her the way Kerri and Lee always complained about. It was something that hadn’t helped his performance as a crew chief—the constant worry that something bad would happen to his family and it would be all his fault.

  Granted, Annabelle wasn’t his sibling, but still—that made it more important, somehow, that he keep his distance. Especially given her reaction to what had happened with Fogerty, when she’d bristled and talked about wanting to stand on her own.

  He got that. He really did. After all, he was trying hard to prove himself, too, wasn’t he? So that he could feel like he had at least one thing going for him.

  The funny thing was, now that he had spent a night with Annabelle, he wanted to be a success for himself even more. So that he could be a man who was worthy of her.

  He only hoped she would think he was worthy, too.

  * * *

  Annabelle pulled her car into the driveway of her mother’s house, still coasting on her high from the win this weekend and the night with Grady.

  But to her surprise, just as she stepped out of the car, the front door of the house opened and out walked Momma, carrying Annabelle’s suitcase.

  Uh oh. This did not bode well.

  Stay cool. You’ll be all right. Maybe she’s just doing some spring cleaning.

  Except when her mother strode right over to Annabelle and dropped the suitcase at her feet, then turned a mean little stare on her, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t about cleaning.

  Her stomach bottomed out. Momma was kicking her out. What else would that suitcase be for?

  She felt a wave of panic wash over her. She wouldn’t even get her first paycheck until tomorrow! And even with that money, how would she be able to rent a place with credit as bad as hers? Maybe she could go to a hotel, but that would blow through her cash too fast. She wouldn’t even make it to the next paycheck before she’d be out on the street again.

  What had she done wrong?

  But she didn’t ask. She wouldn’t give her mother the satisfaction, although she desperately wanted to understand.

  Finally, Momma snipped out, “You are no longer welcome in my home, Annabelle.” That was it. No explanation. No discussion.

  So Annabelle was going to have to ask, after all. “Why? What did I do wrong?” She hated the quiver in her voice. Hated it. After everything she’d done this weekend …

  Her mother sniffed. “I saw the pictures of you and Grady in the paper. Donnie is never going to take you back now.”

  What? Annabelle blinked. What did Donnie have to do with this? “But—we’re divorced. He left me for someone else. We—”

  “You could have reconciled! You could have tried to be what he wanted. I was trying to help you be that kind of woman. A real woman. And you went off and ruined everything again. Do you know how humiliating this is for me?”

  A real woman.

  Humiliating for Momma. That’s what the insistence on skirts and makeup had been about. It had never been about Annabelle. It had been about Momma being embarrassed.

  But then, it had always been that way. She just hadn’t realized it until now. Her entire upbringing had been about not calling attention to herself—avoiding embarrassment for herself and her parents. But she had changed. She’d broken past her fear and was finally trying to make it on her own. She was finally living her own life.

  So then—why was she still standing here worrying about the opinion of someone who didn’t even like her? Her own mother didn’t even like her. What a joke. This was what she’d been clinging to all along, like it was going to save her somehow?

  The debt, her homelessness—none of that mattered if she lost herself completely. She mattered, damn it! All the anger of nearly three decades seized in her throat, making her choke a little. But it also scared the hell out of her. Because now she was truly, completely on her own.

  Momma wasn’t done yet. “And since you think you’re so special that you can turn your back on everything I’ve raised you to be, I expect you to pay back the money you owe me immediately. Just like I would from any other stranger.”

  Then she simply turned and walked away, not even bothering to say goodbye, and there was nothing else for Annabelle to do but pack the suitcase into her trunk and drive away.

  Even though she had nowhere to go.

  Chapter 12

  On Monday morning, Grady was frowning as he drove into work at the garage.

  He’d tried several times to call Annabelle yesterday, but she hadn’t answered. He’d left two voicemails, then called one more time, but after that he stopped trying, not wanting it to turn into something obsessive and weird. He didn’t understand why she was avoiding him all of a sudden. Or had she just left her phone somewhere else by accident?

  He hadn’t been able to sleep last night, tossing and turning and wondering what had happened. By five o’clock that morning, he’d given up and decided just to go in to the office and try to get another design ready for Carbon Works, to see if he could reach out to the ATV and snowmobile market next.

  When he pulled his car into the Hart Racing lot at ten to six, though, he was more than a little surprised to see Annabelle’s car already there.

  What was she doing here so early? And why hadn’t she answered his calls?

  The garage floor was pitch dark, so he bypassed that entrance and went directly inside to the offices. Maybe she’d felt like she had to catch up on her team manager responsibilities, since she’d been off at the race last week. That wouldn’t be a surprise, though he’d have to talk to Ranger about that. He didn’t want Annabelle burning out.

  Of course, if she was working too hard, maybe she wouldn’t appreciate it if he interfered …

  If he could even find her in the first place. She wasn’t in the front office, or in Ranger’s office. In fact, all the rooms up here were still dark.

  “Annabelle?” He called out her name, flipping on the lights in the hall and in the garage as he made his way down the hall, toward his office, which was the last room on the row.

  No answer.

  Weird. How could her car be here but she wasn’t? Where would she have gone? And with whom?

  It was starting to worry him.

  He headed to his office and called out for her again. “Annabelle!”

  This time, though, he heard a muffled sound coming from his office. What the fuck? Was she in trouble? He ran into the office and flipped on the light, preparing himself to confront an attacker or something, but what he saw had him even more shocked.

  She was just sitting up from a pallet of blankets and clothes that she’d made on the floor, her hair mussed and her eyes bleary …

  Had Annabelle slept in his office? She rubbed her eyes and blinked up at him. “Hey, Grady. I-I didn’t expect you so early…” She trailed off, looking so lost and unhappy.

  “Annabelle, what’s going on?” He tried to be as gentle as possible, but it didn’t matter. Lovely, hard-working, sexy Annabelle Murray—his Annabelle—started to cry.

  * * *

  This was awful. It was awful and embarrassing and she wanted it to stop.

  She’d planned to just stay here for the night, wake up early, and make sure she’d cleared out before anyone came into the office. Sleeping at Hart Racing wasn’t exactly something she was proud of, even though she’d been relieved when she’d thought of it as she’d driven toward the city from her mother’s house yesterday. It wasn’t quite the lowest point of her life—that was reserved for the day she’d gotten the notice that she was behind on paying a huge debt she’d
never known about—but it was pretty darn close.

  She hadn’t counted on Grady showing up so goddamned early.

  Not that it was his fault. It was hers, for not having the ability to stand on her own. Especially after she’d insisted to him that she could and that he needed to stay out of her way.

  She could have at least pretended, though. She could have gotten through the day, then taken her first paycheck and gotten a cheap motel or something until she could find a room in someone else’s house or apartment, maybe. Something that didn’t require a credit check or a whole lot of money. She’d gone through her options yesterday as she’d drunk water from the paper cups that came out of the water cooler dispenser and eaten crackers from the vending machine.

  Her eviction hadn’t been the greatest timing, but it wouldn’t have been quite so awful if no one had found out. But of course, the one person she definitely didn’t want to know … had found out.

  On top of everything else, she was crying like a sad, weak thing, wiping tears off her cheeks and trying not to look pathetic as Grady rushed over to her, dropping his bag on the floor before he knelt next to her and gathered her in his arms.

  Oh, that feels so good.

  “What happened? Why are you sleeping here?”

  She tried not to sink into his embrace and lean all her tired weight on him. Maybe sleeping in his office wasn’t a great way to build his confidence in her, but at the same time, she couldn’t allow him to completely take over and protect her and fight her battles for her …

  But she owed him an explanation, at least. And she hated being in debt. At least, no more than she already was. She’d have to discharge this one if she wanted to move forward with any kind of equilibrium.

  She let herself relax against his chest, just for a little bit.

  “My mother kicked me out,” she managed to say past her tears, trying to breathe deeply and get her nerves under control. God, she must look awful. Exhausted and sore from spending a rough night on the hard floor, missing Grady and wanting so much to just give up and go to him.

  But she hadn’t, and she at least could be proud of that.

  “What? Why would she do that?” He shook his head, his chin rubbing into her hair. “I don’t understand. And why didn’t you go to a hotel? Or call me? You could have called me, you know.”

  Oh, God. If he only knew how much she’d wanted to.

  But she owed him an explanation.

  So she told him. She told him everything, in fact. More than she needed to. She hadn’t meant to, but once she started talking about the restrictions Momma had put on her, it was hard not to explain why she’d put up with them. And then, once she started talking about that, it was like a dam had broken and she’d spilled everything else. How she’d worked like a dog to keep Donnie’s garage afloat. About his drinking and how alone she’d been, and how her parents hadn’t cared to hear about any of it. They’d just called it her burden to bear.

  She told Grady about how she hadn’t even been able to go to her father’s funeral because there hadn’t been any money or any time, but the truth was that she hadn’t tried very hard to make it back, anyway. And then the fifty-thousand-dollar debt that had forced her into an even worse position, with seemingly no reprieve in sight …

  She didn’t tell him that he had been the reason for the only good things that had happened to her in the past decade. It wasn’t exactly true, anyway—she’d had good experiences in Texas—but she was feeling overwrought and Grady was so wonderful …

  He held her the entire time, and when she was done talking, he kissed her forehead.

  She was surprised to find that, instead of feeling more embarrassed, she felt better for the first time in years.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. But I’m glad you don’t have to be there anymore, at least. And I’m glad you told me.” He cupped her chin and looked at her with so much earnest concern that she nearly started crying again.

  She was glad, too.

  “And now that I know, at least one of your problems is solved. You can just stay at my place until you can sort things out with your finances.”

  Stay at his place? Wait a sec.

  No. She didn’t like that. Staying with him wasn’t solving a problem. It was only trading one problem for another, making her dependent on someone else for survival with nothing in return. That was why she hadn’t called him yesterday. At least with her mother, it had felt a little less like charity. She’d been willing to accept it for all the suffering she’d gone through. But staying with Grady wouldn’t require her to pay anything, either in money or emotion.

  Perversely, that’s what made it feel so wrong.

  She pulled away. “No. Grady, I’ll be fine, I promise. It was just one night and I was just surprised and a little overwhelmed, that’s all. I—”

  But he cut her off. “You’d rather stay at a motel than with me?”

  Great. Now he was offended.

  She shook her head, even though it was kind of the truth—that she’d rather stay at a motel. Not because she didn’t want to stay with him, personally. It was just a matter of principle. She’d been trying so hard to be independent …

  “Just one night, Annabelle. I don’t want to be so worried about you. Just until I’m sure things are okay. Please. Do it for me, not for you.”

  At least, when he put it that way, she didn’t feel quite so dependent. Not that it sat quite right with her, either, but a part of her felt like she might be the world’s worst person if she said no to a request like that.

  Why was this so hard? Why was being in charge of her own life so confusing? Was she the only adult who found this so difficult to deal with?

  Probably.

  Silly, sheltered, confused Annabelle.

  No. She was not going back to that Annabelle anymore. She’d promised herself that she was going to be braver and take charge of her own life, hadn’t she? This whole thing was just temporary. It had to be. Just a little hiccup along the path to independence.

  Slowly, she nodded. “Okay. For one night. I guess it’ll be fine. And I’ll pay you back.”

  It was only temporary.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed, then kissed her forehead again.

  She didn’t like that, either. It felt too paternalistic. So before he could move away, she grabbed him around his neck and pulled him down to her mouth, kissing him with urgency and heat, until that patronizing demeanor disappeared and his hands were all over her.

  They’d only been together a couple of times, but he’d already learned all her pleasure points. His hands rubbed her breasts through her shirt. She hadn’t worn a bra to sleep, and her nipples responded immediately, peaking hard and high. He gently pinched them between his fingers, making her moan into his mouth and arch into the sensation, seeking more.

  “God, Annabelle.” He rasped her name, pushing her back down onto the pallet she’d made and covering her body with his. “I want to fuck you right here.”

  Yes. She lifted her hips, pushing against him, rubbing against the hard ridge she felt there.

  She’d missed him.

  “I want that, too,” she replied, feeling wild and reckless and so very needy.

  The thrill of doing something illicit was incredible. Not that she was really worried that anyone would discover them. Only Grady ever showed up before eight o’clock.

  But it was still fun, and something special—a way to put a good end to an otherwise awful night.

  They rolled around on the floor for a few minutes, laughing after a while at the way they kept bumping into the furniture. She finally pushed him away from her to pull off her pants and top, and he took the chance to strip off his own clothes. The urgency of it had them both laughing again, and by the time he’d grabbed a condom from a pocket in his bag and stretched out beside her again to kiss her, they were grinning like fools.

  He paused and rolled the condom on, then moved on top of her, between her legs. He brack
eted her face with his hands as he pushed inside, making her gasp and writhe, but he held her fast.

  She loved it.

  “You’re beautiful, Annabelle.”

  The way he was looking at her, those hazel eyes shining a deep green, made her feel beautiful.

  And then he moved, and there was nothing else but feeling.

  Chapter 13

  Grady sat at his desk, whistling.

  Out of all the ways he’d expected this day to go, sex with Annabelle this morning on the floor of his office had not even been among the possibilities he’d considered. But it had been a very pleasurable surprise.

  He couldn’t believe what she’d been through. Everything she’d told him this morning had cut deep, almost as though he was the one responsible for inflicting that pain on her, even when she’d been several states away. It had made him want to gather her up and protect her from the entire world.

  Even though he knew she didn’t need that kind of coddling, it was impossible for him not to try. It was simply too ingrained in his nature to try to protect the people he cared for. At least he’d gotten her to agree to stay with him that night. He’d be able to take care of her the way she deserved.

  After they’d collapsed together this morning, she’d used the office shower to freshen up, then come out wearing her coveralls. Amazing, how quickly he’d gotten used to seeing her in those. She’d been a great team manager, too, but working directly with the cars and in the races seemed to suit her so much better.

  They’d talked about Carbon Works over mugs of coffee, and apart from the fact that they were in the racing offices and she’d had to pack away her linens and clothes into a big suitcase she’d brought from her car, it felt like a normal morning as a real couple.

  When she’d gone downstairs to help the team with the process of breaking down Kerri’s car for more fine-tuning, he’d missed her within minutes.